


Hanakotoba

by Caroaimezoe



Series: Leo's week [5]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Turtlecest, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Fifth entry for 'Everybody wants Leo' week. Day five: Karai





	Hanakotoba

**Author's Note:**

> Each story of this week would have an open-ending. I will continue the more loved one. Still not an English speaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pic by Cytellax

Everybody _wants Leo‘s week,_  
_Day five: Karai_

** Hanakotoba **

 

_Universe 2k3, Flowershop AU_

* * *

 

 

If there was something Donatello liked about mutants being ‘accepted’ in the society, it was fresh croissants. He loved their smell, and each morning his appetite followed the aroma to the bakery across the street to buy some pastries, even if he never had the time to eat with this family. Don had to take the subway for seventeen stations to be at his workplace before 8 am.

Donatello was the breadwinner. Having skills appreciated by humans, he brought home a good income. Raphael was a bouncer in a club, and Mikey was a cook in a pizza shop, so obviously they couldn’t compete with Don’s income at all.

And Donatello loved to be useful.

Leonardo was trying to be useful too, having opened his own shop below their apartment.

Hanakotoba was a flower and tea shop. Don looked toward his eldest brother with tenderness. Every day, Leonardo rose before the sun to make his flower arrangements. Besides coffee and fresh croissants, there was no sight that warmed Donnie’s heart more than seeing his eldest brother arranging some peonies, while Don read in the tiny tea room Leo had setup in a corner of the shop with Donatello’s help.

At first, Don felt great living on the surface. In the last months before the new law acknowledging mutant rights, he had felt like he was choking underground. Even if it was a sad event, Splinter’s death had allowed them to be themselves and use their time in other ways than doing ninjutsu and fighting an old vendetta.

Karai was the one to thank for their new life. It was fair. Leo had helped her organization win NY away from the mob, and Leonardo had spared her life so many times. So, she had helped to push through the state law about mutants being accepted, by blackmailing the mayor, governor, and police chief.

Now Leo smiled all day long, only smelling flowers and tea, not having to wash away blood tainting his skin.

Don had to work all day long. He was gone for eleven hours on weekdays, and from 7am to 3pm on Saturday. It was with a warm heart he returned to Leo’s little flower shop after his long shifts. In the subway, people looked at him with disgust, not wanting to stand near him. Most of the time, Don had his own private subway car, thanks to his shell and olive green color. Of course, now he wore clothes, because that was mandatory in human society. But, sadly, clothes were not made for turtles. When he was not wearing a lab coat for his job, Don wore extra-large clothes that made him look even more awkward. He hated that.

One morning, he had sudden thought and was not sure what it meant. He missed his home.

It was not about wanting a physical home. The Hamato family lived just above the shop, in a four room apartment. It was very small and dim, without much sunlight by human standards, but for mutant turtles having spent all their lives in the sewers, it was paradise. Though there was a negative side to this, too. In the sewers, Don obtained electricity and water for free, illegally. They never had to pay a rent either. Topside, they had to pay for everything.

Don worked so much because he was the biggest earner. Working on Saturdays too was making a big difference for their budget. By the end of the week, Don only had the strength to smile when he walked into the flower shop below their apartment.

The scent was so good, so many flowers sometimes mixing with teas. Don wondered which scent was the most enticing, exotic flowers or Leonardo.

Don was not dissatisfied because his brothers were far away or too busy. Their life was peaceful now. Leo did not bother playing Ninja more than twice a week, alone. Raph and Mikey both worked every night, so nobody could accompany him. Don let Leo play vigilante - it was neither his leisure nor his duty. He worked hard at a chemical lab to pay the rent, and so had to skip practice in the mornings.

He did not miss training at all. In fact, Don was glad all of that was behind them, and the only memory they had from their ninja past were the visits Karai made just before the shop closed a few times a week. She would ask Leonardo’s advice about some Foot expansion strategies, and sometimes drink a cup of tea, before buying some unsold flowers.

Giving advice did not compromise the former leader’s life, and she was actually buying something, so Don had no objection. Leonardo’s flower shop was not that crowded. She would talk about mercenary business, ask for some black or white dahlias, and go away, according to what he had seen, the few times Don was there at the same time as her, on the weekends, or if she was still there when Donnie came back from work, despite the flower shop closing at 6 pm on weekdays. Usually, she left quickly after his arrival, and Donnie was grateful for that. He had never trusted Karai.

They had been settled into this quiet life for almost two years, when Don felt that mysterious discontent bubbling up in his mind while he was on the subway.

Life could not be only subway, work, lunch, work, subway, and then almost falling asleep in front of the TV. Don knew that turtles could live a long time and he did not see himself leading this meaningless life until the bitter end.

It was not that he preferred to work less. Sunday was his only day off, and he spent most of the day alone, doing his part of the chores.

Raphael was in bed most of the day because he worked until 3:30 am. Mikey slept in until 11 am and then had to hurry to be at work at 11:30. Leo was in his shop downstairs, reading quietly among flowers and waiting for his few customers, until the shop closed at 4 pm, around the time Raph would wake up. Leo and he would have a quiet chat while Raph was engrossed in a sports competition on the TV. Then, Mikey would come home at 7:00 with pizza from his shop. They would watch some movie, and each time Leo chose a love story, Don’s insides would twist, without him understanding why.

Each day was the same, and Don longed for something new, to refresh his dull life and put some beauty in it. This life was not what he had hoped for from the human world.

Something was not right.

That Sunday, he had a chat about it with Leonardo, while his brother was arranging a bouquet of purple orchids. It was perhaps the only place in this world that he didn’t feel like a stressed out outsider. It was a quiet and beautiful place, which smelled good, like Leo himself.

“Did you not hope for something more, in joining human society?” Don asked idly, his chin in his palm, in the tea room corner, looking at Leo putting some green as a final touch.

“What do you mean? Are you not happy? Karai helped us to integrate with the city, and people are not looking down at us that much. We have a nice apartment and food, and…”

“I don’t mean about that…” Don interrupted, with a slight impatience, “I mean, what am I tiring myself out at work for, huh?”

Leo looked at him with bewilderment. “To take care of your brothers…”

Seeing that Donnie was rolling his eyes, Leo added, “It’s true, Donnie, you’re working much more than us. Maybe I can open the flower shop on Mondays too. It’s unfair that you have to work so hard. My workdays are the shortest because I only have to go downstairs,” he said, looking almost ashamed about it.

Don shook his head. He did not need Leo’s guilt trip. The Monday was Leo’s only day off and, anyway, it wouldn’t make a huge difference to their finances even if he did.

“Don’t worry, Leo. I got it. Anyway, that wasn’t what I meant.” But then Donnie had to drop the subject because the bell above the door chimed, announcing a customer, and as they both turned toward it, Karai was entering the shop.

Leo smiled at her.

“Karai, it’s been a long time since I saw you…”

Don frowned slightly at this. Karai’s last visit had been just two days ago.

She did not smile back, keeping her usual cold, statue demeanor and immediately talked business.

Donatello was listening with interest because he felt annoyed by the interruption and was eager to find a way to maybe shorten the Foot Leader’s visit. He was not dumb and could advice too, to make her go away more quickly. Usually he was the one leaving or was too caught up fixing or reading something to listen.

But, with a frown, over the relaxing music, he listened Karai talking about Purple Dragon’s issues and the conversation seemed familiar to him, like Leo and she had already had this talk. He was not certain, but maybe they had, and Karai was facing the same struggles with the Purple Dragons because she did not listen to Leo’s advice the last time.

On an impulse, he took a pen out of his XX-large jacket and opened his book, ‘Les Fleurs du Mal’, like he was taking notes about the book by itself. It was a French poetry book. Since his company was now having French speakers clients, his boss had asked him to learn the language, given he was the only one in his department who knew the basics of it, and so, he was reading each occasion he had.

If his company won this ten-years contract, his boss had promised him a substantial raise and a promotion. The French delegation was coming Monday morning and he wanted to be ready. If he got this promotion, he could maybe manage to reduce his hours to stay in the flower-shop with Leo a little more, and he did not mind reading and learning anyway.

So, for a month now, he had been reading French books from the nineteenth century, mosting from the romanticism movement, a very rich period in literacy It was keeping his mind busy, and reading Baudelaire's spleen was like fresh water on his painful soul.

Baudelaire’s illnesses, his long-term use of laudanum, his life of stress, and his poverty had taken a toll on the poet, who never found fame in his lifetime, but even with that, Donatello almost envied him. Baudelaire had not taken the subway or worked as a robot, to only sleep and then, start over. Baudelaire has died with his mind full of memories. Don’s life was so plain and empty that he did not have anything to clearly complain about.

But his job and Baudelaire were far from his mind when he noted some keywords from Karai’s speech.

‘ _Purple Dragon, Chinatown apothecary, a new leader, alliance with the mob. A meeting soon, before she leaves for Kyoto.’_

Don was sure to have heard about Karai talking about this trip before, but it seemed to have not happened yet since she was at the flower shop four or five times a week. Now he was thinking about it, it even seemed that her visits had increased in frequency.

Frowning again, he looked at them.

Leo was in front of her, his upper body leaning toward her, with a smile on his lips, nodding absent-mindedly.

“Do you want flowers?” he asked, five minutes later, without giving any piece of advice at all.

Karai considered for a moment.

“Give me eleven white dahlias,” she finally requested.

With a grin, Leo counted the flowers and Don, puzzled, stared while Karai was paying her flowers.

Eleven was an odd number for flowers. Don never bought flowers himself, but was there enough with Leo on Sundays, to know people usually bought them by the dozen. Cheaper customers took six of them. Why eleven?

Without knowing why Donatello scribbled this information as well.

_‘Sunday, August 12, Eleven white Dahlias.’_

Quickly after that, she was gone with her flowers, and Leo was left wearing a dork smile.

“Why are you smiling?” Don asked. He did not mean to sound suspicious, but Leo stiffed.

“She is a customer, and we have to smile at customers, right? Are you not learning French for customers?”

Leo seemed defensive and Don was concerned tenfold by this new behavior from his brother. For months now, Leo was only exquisite sweetness. Forgotten was the cold, duty-based only leader, who showed off being in charge on every possible occasion. But now, Donnie saw it in the blazing eyes of the eldest. Not the poetic blue of some Forget-me-not, but the sparkle of anger. His brother refused to be questioned and Don yielded immediately, remembering Leo’s position. He could fix all who needed reparation, hack to have free internet and cable, and bring in more than twice Leo’s income, but his eldest brother was still the boss.

But, thankfully, Leo changed the topic.

“You were talking to me, Donnie. What you wanted to tell me?”

Don was not in the mood anymore and realization struck him. He had read some Baudelaire essay earlier which had said, ‘There is an invincible taste for prostitution in the heart of man, from which comes his horror of solitude. He wants to be 'two'. The man of genius wants to be 'one'... It is this horror of solitude, the need to lose oneself in the external flesh, that man nobly calls 'the need to love'.’

It was what Don needed. Love. Having someone to think about, while he was at his job, working to buy to his lover’s present.

Baudelaire, despite having such a hard life because his poetry skill never brought wealth, had found a lifetime of inspiration in Jeanne Duval. Of course, this woman had been a cheap gold digger and bad actress, and had ruined Baudelaire’s life, but to Donnie it was because the poet had poorly chosen his mate. Donnie don’t have this lack of judgment.

Leo was leaning on his counter, his gorgeous eyes on him, surrounded by flowers and the perfume was making Donatello dizzy.

Leo has been there the whole time, in this little secluded paradise. He had known his brother since forever. The eldest was a balanced individual, smart and a high-achiever, despite being smoother lately. Don trusted Leo with his life. It was unlikely that, outside of his own species, someone would be ready to commit their life to a giant mutant turtle, considering the disdain he saw in the faces of the people on the subway, and he had only his brothers belonging to his species. So, Leonardo could be his best choice for a mate.

But to be in a relationship, you must be two. And maybe Leo was not longing for it like he was.

“What do you think about love?” Don asked softly. ”Do you think it's something we can have?”

Startled, Leo looked at his brother with wide eyes, like hydrangeas and Donnie feared what Leo might say. If Leo told him no, Don would have to stay alone, in a meaningless life.

“Why not?” Leo replied to Don immense relief. ”Love is part of life! Without it, life is tasteless.”

It was exactly the same way that Don was feeling. His days were as plain and tasteless as non-sugared oatmeal. So, if Leo was suffering of loneliness like him, maybe there still hope.

“Do you have a crush on someone at your workplace?” Leo asked kindly, putting his hand on Don’s and the genius shivered, in part with disdain for his coworkers, and a part with pleasure, about how warm this little gesture from his brother was making him feel.

“No, not at my workplace,” Don replied slowly, wondering how he never noticed before how handsome Leo was. The green of his skin was as shimmering as the bindweed leaves Leo was arranging to fill his bouquet. It’s seemed as delicate and gentle, requiring attentive care from a skilled gardener.

“Well,” Leo replied with a grin, ”I hope all will be fine for you and your chosen one. You deserve love, Donnie,” the former leader added, with a light squeeze to Don’s hand and the scientist felt his heart fluttering.

“Yes,” Don agreed, after a moment of anxiety about what he would say next. “What about a movie tonight? I mean out of this apartment, at the movie theater or something,” he specified, with burning cheeks.

“Oh, that’s a good idea, Donnie, but it depends at what time the movie ends. Tonight, I’m going on patrol. But if you find a movie ending before ten, it could be possible.” Leo said with a shy smile.

Don told himself that maybe Leo had wanted to be asked for a date for a while already and Donnie chastised himself to not having realized it sooner, to make a move.

“Why ten? It could be ten thirty, who cares? And to catch up, I can patrol with you tonight,” Don suggested, suddenly bold.

But Leo’s features twisted in an embarrassed expression. “I’d rather be alone, Donnie. It lets me have some peace to reflect on things.”

Donatello frowned. “What you mean? You are alone most of the time, here. You have like fifteen customers a day, who stay less than ten minutes each.”

Leo grew irate and Don took a step back, seeing the mood change.

“Do you mean that my job is useless because I make less money than you? I bring flavor and color into people’s lives.”

Donnie shook his head, denying it fiercely.

“Of course not! I like your flower shop and think it's a perfect job for you. You work surrounded by calm, perfume, and beauty. I don’t want you to do something else!”

Leo seemed ashamed by his outburst and apologized.

“Maybe we should postpone this movie night out, Donnie. I’m not in the mood and won’t be a nice company to you.”

Donatello lowered his head. He had spoiled this opportunity, but he knew better than insist. Anyway, there would be other occasions, Leo was going nowhere. But his brother had spoken the truth. Leo was bringing color and flavor into a dark world.

\---

At 10:15 pm, Donnie looked toward Leo leaving, with a pinch in the heart.

To fill his mind with something to do, instead of cursing himself for having wasted his chance, he decided to read another French novel, more compelling than mere poetry, to wait until Leo’s return or else until he fell asleep.

Randomly, he took a book from his bookshelves, and read the title;it was ‘La dame aux camélias’, the original version of 'the lady of the camellias'. The flower reference made him think of Leo again, but Don decided it was a good omen and started reading.

At first, he had to start over many times. The love story was too much of a reminder of his own blossoming one. Leo was not in love with him, but like the heroine of this book, Leo could fall in love as well. But at a moment, still close to the beginning of the book, Donnie dropped it, his heart pounding.

In the story, Marguerite was nicknamed ‘the lady of the camellias' because she wore a red camellia when she was menstruating and unavailable for making love, and a white camelia when she was available to her lovers.

Karai was sometimes buying sometimes black Dahlias, and sometimes white, and from what he recalled, not always the same number.

Donnie had never cared about it, and told himself that it was woman’s caprice. But, now he was not sure at all. Karai was a serious woman, and that she was into flowers, such poetics things, always amazed Donatello. He knew that Ikebana was an art in Japan, that Leo had mastered as well as ninjutsu. It was this reason why almost all Leo’s customer were Japanese. Leo had explained to him that Flowers could be a message and each one had their meaning, but Don had never been concerned by it. But still, Leo had chosen a name about it for his shop, ‘Hanakotoba.’

But maybe eleven white Dahlias meant something else?

Don grunted, rubbing his forehead. Maybe he was overthinking it or imagining things because it was almost midnight and he was tired, and not that eager to start a new work week the next morning. But he knew very well he would not find sleep if he did not get to the bottom of the matter.

He opened his laptop and typed ‘Hanakotoba’ into the Google search bar.

The explanation on Wikipedia was only about what Don already know. It was a Japanese form of the language of flowers. In this practice, plants were given codes and passwords. These were meant to convey emotion and communicate directly to the recipient without needing the use of words.

Narrowing his eyes in a focused expression, he saw that Dahlia was symbolizing ‘good taste.’

Good taste was not bad news at all, Donatello reflected. It was indeed true that the leader of the Foot Clan was a woman with class and elegance.

To be sure that this was the universal meaning of Dahlia, Donnie typed some new key words.

_‘Dahlia flowers meanings.’_

At the first definition, his heart missed a beat.

_‘Dahlia is the symbol of a commitment and bond that lasts forever. The dahlia flower is still used today in gardens and flower arrangements to celebrate love and marriage.’_

Anxiously, he read about what the colors meant. White was symbolizing pure love or soul and so was the most likely used for weddings. The black ones symbolized betrayal and sadness.

It’s mean nothing at all, a part of Donnie’s mind screamed. It was only a coincidence.

Troubled, and knowing he could not sleep and not wanting to be tempted to question Leo and make him angry, Donatello swallowed two sleeping pills; to the hell with the grogginess in the morning.

\---

The next day was better than he’d expected. Leo seemed happy the next morning, and had smiled at him with a new eagerness, it had seemed to Donatello.

Later at work, the visit with the French clients had gone well and Don had been called into his boss’ office to learn that he got his promotion. His new position as the Senior Medicinal Chemist would give him a bonus of $280 more a week, even with his working hours reduced. But even if all his coworkers were green with envy that the mutant had been given such a high ranking position after only two years, Donatello did not care. This money would cover for Mikey, Raph and Leo’s low-paid jobs.

But, it was mostly his new schedule which was making him happy. Donnie would no longer be working on Saturdays, and even more, he would be starting thirty minutes later, and finishing one hour earlier. In the morning he would have time to eat his croissant with his brothers, instead of eating in a rush on the subway. And at the end of his day he would have more time to spend in the flower shop, to chat with Leo.

Courting Leo when another sibling was present to distract the eldest’s attention was not easy, and he needed a kind of intimacy to summon the courage to again raise the topic of love with Leonardo.

But it was not the only reason he was happy to finish early. Now he would always there when Karai came buy flowers just before the closing.

He did not have to wait long.

On Wednesday, his first day when he was able to leave at 4:30 pm, he came into the flower shop at ten minutes past five, all smiles and with a present for his brother.

Donnie had not told him about his promotion, because he wanted to surprise his brother with the great news. Since Monday, he had been trying to convince himself that the secret message with Karai was just his mind tricking him. Don was imagining things because his life was deprived of passion and stimulus. But it gave him a idea.

Buying something from one of Leo’s competitors was maybe at first not a rich idea, but if he bought it from Leo, it would spoil the surprise. So, at 5:10 pm, he entered the flower shop with a smile and a bouquet in hand.

He had learned that to express his love for someone, camellias was the best choice. Pink camellias symbolized longing, while red camellias symbolized passion or desire. So, a bouquet combining red and pink camellias expressed romantic love.

So that had been Donnie’s choice, buying eight of each color. He was finding himself bold to express desire.

Donatello had never considered Leonardo as an object of lust before. In fact, except for some hentai, he had never jerked off over someone before. Not a living being, in any case. But with anticipation, he had tried to masturbate the night before, thinking of his eldest brother for the first time. With trembling hands and sweaty palms, he had taken his cock, and he had reached his peak quickly. And he did not have any doubt that with the real Leonardo, it would be even better.

He was too shy to talk to Leo directly and reveal now having sexual desire for him, so passing flowers was easier and more romantic in Don’s opinion. And with a shop called Hanakotoba, Leo could not misunderstand the meaning of Donnie’s bouquet.

When he entered, Leo was at the back, doing an arrangement. Hearing the bell that hung above the door ring, Leo turned eagerly toward the door, a smile on his lips, but it died when he recognize Donatello.

“Donnie? What are you doing here so early?” Leo asked, before his face lightened again.  
“You got flowers? Is it from your crush? Too bad they didn’t buy them from me. I would have arranged them better!”

Leonardo seemed delighted that Donnie had received flowers. And embarrassed, the genius, who was usually so smart, was left searching for words, looking down and unable to meet Leo’s eyes, his feet shuffling.

  
“Why are you here already? Did you ask to finish sooner because you have a date?” Leo asked softly.

At the word ‘date’ Donnie remembered that this was what it was about, asking Leo to go with him to a restaurant, to celebrate his promotion. Rubbing the back of his neck, his face and ears feeling impossibly hot, he spoke in a rushed breath.

“I got the promotion I told you about…”

“Well, that’s a great news, Donnie! So, you finished early to celebrate with this new meaningful person?” Leo asked, interrupting him.

Don’s nerves almost cracked. He had to tell Leo now or if not, he wouldn’t ever been able to talk about it again. Now was his best opportunity.

“Yes... I mean, no,” Don backpedaled, so nervous. ”With my new schedule, my shifts are now from 8:30 to 4:30, and not 8:00 to 5:30 anymore. Now I will be here more. So, I was think about celebrating, yeah… but with you…”

Donnie waited three heartbeats before continuing, the words stumbling out one after the other, encouraged by Leo still listening.

“Because, you know, I love to talk with you, and it’s something to celebrate, because it's good news for our whole little family! And well, the others are not here, so…”

At this, Donatello wanted to slap himself for his cowardice. No wonder he had never been the one called ‘Fearless’. He opened his mouth to be more explicit, but Leo destabilised him by frowning, with a confused smile.

“It’s a good idea, Donnie, but what about the flowers, then? Will you leave the bouquet with the person before going with me to the restaurant? This is not a gentlemanly way. You can be shy, Donnie, but I think it’s a great opportunity to invite her.”

Her? Don shook his head and after fidgeted with the bouquet for a few more seconds, he handed it with a jerky gesture to Leonardo, without a word. Donatello was unable to talk, his mouth dry and overwhelmed by an empty feeling in the pit of the stomach.

“Oh? You want me to make it prettier?“ Leonardo smiled. “No problem, it won’t be long. You have made a wise choice with these ones. This bouquet only lacks a little personality!”

‘Like me,’ Don thought, his shoulders hunching forward, but he was still paralyzed, unable to tell Leo that he was wrong, watching him filling his bouquet with some baby's breath and ferns.

“Voilà!” Leo said, still grinning and absolutely oblivious to Donatello’s pain, giving him the bouquet back.

Donnie did not take it, his arms still crossed over his stomach in a protective huddle. Even if he was deadly silent and still, Don’s mind was screaming.

‘You want to feel loved like in the movies? You want to give some meaning to your life, but you stay mute! You are a genius. You taught yourself a language in two months, and coaxed clients into make a deal with our company, but you are unable to say one in an English word to your own brother? What do you want? To jerk off to him in your single bed your whole damn life? Grow a pair, Donatello!’

“It’s for you, Leo”, he managed to say, shaking his head, and clutching his stomach with his both arms

Leo gave him a dazed look, but then, the bell rang, meaning the arrival of a new customer and to Don’s great irritation, he saw that it was Karai who came in. The Japanese woman gave him a quick, suspicious look, but her attention snapped back at Leo, who was bowing with deep respect in front of her, after having left Donnie’s bouquet on the counter.

“Karai-Sama.”

“Leonardo-Chan.”

The onyx irises looked sharply at Don, but it was so fast that the scientist was not even certain it had happened.

She started to talk in Japanese, as though to be sure that Don was out of the conversation, but Leo interrupted her, in Japanese too.

“Don’t”, he said simply.

Donatello’s unease worsened tenfold. Leo was telling her it was pointless to speak Japanese, because Donnie was fluent in this language anyway.

Etiquette required Don leave. Obviously, Karai wanted to be alone with Leonardo, but instinct told him to stand his ground. He had just found the courage to talk to Leo and ask him for a date and admit that the bouquet was for him. He wasn’t going to go hide like a coward now that the hardest part was behind him.

To show that, he would stay there and not meddle in their conversation in any way. He pulls from his suitcase, the novel ‘La dame aux Camélias”, which he had not yet finished. But he was not reading. Over his crazily pounding heart, he was listening, and nervously he pulls his pen out from his jacket again.

With jerking movement, he scribbled the keys words of Karai.

‘Purple Dragon, Chinatown apothecary, a new leader, alliance with the mob. A meeting soon, before she leaves for Kyoto.’

After fifteen minutes, she was stating the same facts as a few days ago, and acid filled Don’s throat. Maybe it was because it was still her main issues, he tried to convince himself.

Then, her usual bodyguard, who accompagnied her each time, hit the glass of the door. She have to leave and Donnie’s heart jumped in anticipation. When she wasn’t there, he would be alone with Leonardo, and he would finally know what his brother was thinking about the bouquet.

She asked, in a hoarse voice, for her flowers of the day.

“Four black ones.”

Out of instinct, Don before writing down the order looked at his brother. Leonardo was stiff and serious, but with a stoic expression, he handed her the flowers, but with a lot of less care than he usually treated the white Dahlias. She took the bouquet with as much contempt, as though Leo had handed her a dead fish.

She turned her back quickly without a word and left the shop, a nervous hand clutching her bouquet, leaving Donnie wondering a lot as he wrote.

_‘Wednesday, August 15, four black Dahlias.’_

When Donnie raised his head, he noticed that Leo was seemed deeply upset and concerned.

“Are-you alright, Leo?” he asked.

Leo shook his head, as though he wanted to awaken himself from a dream, and with an not very convincing grin, he assured his brother he was fine.

“Which restaurant did you have in mind, Donnie?” Leo asked, with a little enthusiasm. “We definitely have to celebrate your success.”

With Leo’s question, Karai fell to the back of Donnie’s mind.

He had not thought of a specific restaurant. Usually, a Japanese one was more fitting with Leo’s taste, but today Donnie refused to be anywhere where Leo could be reminded of Karai. He had heard a coworker talking about a very romantic Italian restaurant, ’Scalini Fedeli’, in Tribeca. He hoped that even with a such short notice, he could make a reservation.

Suddenly overwhelmed by joy, he stammered, “I will make a reservation, right now. And take a shower,” he told him, as he climbed the stairs. “I’ll let you close your shop!”  
Don took a shower and put on his best shirt, which he had worn at April’s wedding, with a tie. With a critical eye, he stared at his image. He looked even more awkward with a tie, but he wanted to show Leo how important this evening was to him, and how much Leo was too.

Leo would be finished closing in ten minutes, and he rushed on his cell phone to make a reservation. But, this part did not as smoothly as Leo’s acceptance. To Donnie’s great distress, all of the top ten Italian restaurants suggested on TripAdvisor did not want mutant customers.

It was illegal. With the new law they were supposed to be treated as equal to any other people, but it was not the case. Each time, before making a reservation, the person asked Donnie the question. When he was replied with the truth, the restaurant was full.

Finally, after having called many other restaurants and hearing Leo’s step, meaning that he was ready to go, Don understood he had no choice. He could lie, say he was not a mutant, and then, see if on the spot the staff would dare kick them out, but he did not need a scandal for his first date. His only other choice was to go to Mikey’s workplace. It was crowded, noisy, and not at all romantic, but the pizza was good, and at least, they would be accepted.

Discouraged, he snapped off his tie.

\-----

The next morning, Donnie opened his eyes at the sound of his alarm clock. It took him two minutes to summon the focus to find the device and turn it off. Glancing painfully at the clock, he saw that it was 6:10.

After a very quick moment of panic, he remembered that with his promotion he had thirty more minutes to stay in bed. He was glad to have this break because his skull was killing him and, after a few moments of confusion, he remembered why.

He had gone to Mikey’s restaurant with Leo and they had been welcomed very well. Michelangelo was loved at his workplace and the evening could have been great, if Don had not chosen to drown his anxieties in red wine, while Leo was asking him questions about his new responsibilities at work.

“I’m very proud of you, Donnie. I guess you are the one who has integrated the best among humans,” Leo had said.

It was the last thing Donatello remembered for sure, along with the fact Leo was breathtaking in his black shirt. The dark color enlightened the mint leaf color of his skin and the blue of his eyes, and even his teeth seemed to shine more when he was smiling so kindly at him.

And he remembered having a deep desire to kiss those enticing lips.

After that, he had binge drank most all of the bottle of wine he had bought to share with Leo. He had then, ordered another one, feeling too nervous and having often heard about how wine made people talkative and confident, waving off Leo’s concerns.

Leo had probably had drag his drunk ass home and Donatello hoped not having said embarrassing things to his eldest brother.

Ashamed, he took a quick shower, before dressing as usual, anxious to see if Leo would say anything different to him today than his usual morning greeting. Perhaps in his intoxicated state, he had confessed something the night before.

Leo was there, meditating in his bedroom, with the door cracked open.

Donatello stayed a moment, gazing at him lovingly.

Leo’s features were relaxed, and again, he felt the urge to press his lips on Leo’s. He could enter, and maybe do that and slowly push Leo down onto the mat, still kissing him. It was better than any drunk talk as confession.

Who he was kidding? He was far too shy for that!

“May I help you, Donatello?” Leo asked and Don, startled, realized he has been caught daydreaming, staring at the eldest.

“Uh, I’m going to the bakery. Do you feel like something different?” Don asked, proud of the cleverness of his question.

“Not really,” Leo replied slowly. ”Are you all right, Don? I’m afraid you were pretty drunk yesterday. Maybe you should take some acetaminophens with you to work.”

Donnie flushed, trying to read Leo’s expression. He knew his brother has a repulsion for drunkenness, and maybe now, he would put Don in the same category as Raph, but Leo’s face expressed even less than an Egyptian god statue.

“Did I say or do something embarrassing to you?” Don blurted out, stunned by his own boldness.

Leo rose up onto his feet and stretched himself in front of an appreciative Donatello.

“Not really, Donnie. You are a very quiet turtle, even drunk. And I like this trait in you, because I'm as well.”

Donnie’s heart missed a beat in the face of this admission. So, he had lost no points from his eldest brother’s perspective.

“I could not even guess you were drunk, despite your seven cups of wine, because you were only giving clipped ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers to everything I asked you. But I know it was the wine talking when you said I have gorgeous eyes! From that I knew I had to bring you back home, before you made a fool of yourself,” Leo concluded with a smirk.

Donatello knew he could take a bold step closer, kissing his mocking grin and telling him that it was not drunk talk at all, but Leo was already opening his drawer, taking out a black t-shirt and dressing himself, without looking at him, as though Don had already left the room.

He had to talk now.

“Are your mourning someone?” he asked, nervously, in an attempt of joking. ”This is two days in a row you are wearing black!”

Leo slowed down his gesture, but kept a straight face.

“You told me yesterday that black looked good on me. Don’t you remember?”

Donatello stayed silent, proceeding. It could be true that in his drunk state he had told such a thing to Leonardo. Indeed, now Leo had finished putting on his black pant as well, he was stunning in black. Don wondered how many praises he had given his brother, that this one was not talked about, maybe in order to not embarrassing him. But the fact was that Leo, even not sure of if it was the wine talking or the truth, was wearing black for him.

This realization cuts his breath. Never had someone done such a romantic thing for him. His face split in a huge, content grin and he agreed.

“Indeed, black suits you as well as blue, and the change is stunning.”

Leo slightly frowned, and flushed to have been so audacious, Don retreated.

“I’m coming back with the croissants!” he shouted, before running down in the staircase, his cheeks still burning.

At the bakery, he regretted that Leo was not as greedy as Mikey, so to win him by his stomach. Instead of the four usual, he bought a dozen and he ran back to the flower shop. The shop was not open yet, but Leo received his fresh flowers at 7 am, and had one hour to make some arrangements ready for people who were not bothered about a personalized bouquet.

Leo had Donnie’s camellias well enlightened on his desk, and this view warmed Donnie’s heart.

His brother took the pastry bag, and ate his croissant, while drinking his tea and doing his bouquet. Donnie absent-mindedly took a bite of his own, despite his nausea. He was still hungover, but too happy to care.

Before going to work, he wondered if he should say something more than usual, or maybe give a kiss to Leo’s cheek. Anguish consumed him while he was jumping from a foot to the other, hesitating about what he should do. Finally, his nerves got the better of him, and he turned his back and ran off to work.

\---

Exalted, Don noticed that his brother continued to wear black for a few days. This made up for all the hard glares he was receiving from his former coworkers, of whom he was now the boss.

It was true that love, even not concretized was a beautiful thing. Just this subtle courtship made him feel happier and more alive than he had felt for years. Donnie’s life now had meaning and a goal. To please his lover to be.

That Saturday was particularly delightful for him, because he could stay in the flower shop all day, now reading ‘Madame Bovary’ and watching Leo work. This day was the busiest of the week, but they were still sometimes able to chat quietly.

Don daydreamed that if he could convince Leo to not work on the weekend, or at least not on Sundays, he might be able to have a more peaceful and intimate moment with him. With his augmented income, they could afford it.

But that Sunday was another story.

First, Leonardo had chose an immaculate white shirt today. Don noticed it, but he did not have a count of what was in his brother wardrobe. Maybe it could be that Leo did not have clean black clothes, Sunday being laundry day, or perhaps Leo just got tired of it; either way, Don could tell him off for it.

But what concerned Donnie more was that Leo, who had been pleasant all morning, grew impatient just after lunch. He seemed agitated and kept looking at the clock many times. He was trying to hold something back and then, to Donatello’s bewilderment, he exploded.

“Do you not have any other place to be, Donnie? You stayed with me all day yesterday, and you’ve been here reading here since I walked in.”

Don frowned, still dazed.

“I will go do my chores, don’t worry, Leo. And some laundry too,” he replied softly, standing up slowly, not wanting to upset his brother. ”But I will leave you alone, if you need to be. I love to be here with you, is all.”

Leo uttered a sigh.

“I’m sorry, Donnie… I just feel restless today, but we need to be alone. We spent a lot of time together recently.”

With a forced grin, Don nodded.

“Of course, Leo… see you later”, he said, before closing the door, and with his eyes full of tears, he climbed upstairs.

To be sure to not be reproached for anything, he diligently did all the chores on his list, in addition to Mikey’s laundry. While nobody was there to see him, he lifted Leo’s shirt to his nostrils to sniff them. All of Leo’s shirts and pants smelt of flowers and Don cursed the fact that Leo, like all of them, didn’t wear underwear, so to be able to smell more intimate scent.

After that, he wondered if he could cook.

Leo and he had already gone out for pizza, and Leo disliked too much junk food. Restaurants were still an issue for them, but delivery service was not. Donnie was very good with his hands. Maybe he could do something to transform the little open space, used as kitchen, living room and dining room, in a romantic, private place?

Inspired, he took some spare sheets and with a stapler, he pinned the fabric to the ceiling.

“What the fuck are you doing, genius?” Raph asked, drinking his beer in front on the television.

“Leo and I don’t need to watch you get drunk in front of a wrestling match, while we are eating sushi like civilized mutants. Shush.”

“Since when is Leo fancy? Anyway, your lovely dinner will be short-lived. I’m sure as fuck Fearless is up to a patrol tonight. It's been quite a while since he did.”

It was indeed true, his brother had not patrolled all week, which was rare, but not tonight. All afternoon, he had daydreamed about it. Tonight they would watch a romantic movie and then, he swore, he would kiss him or maybe ask permission to do so.

The sushi flyer in hand, he went downstairs to ask Leo what he wanted. But an unpleasant surprise welcomed him.

Karai was there, her hands on the counter, her eyes locked to Leo’s as they whispered. But, then she saw Donnie and took a step back, and Leo’s head snapping toward him, the annoyance visible on his face.

“Donatello?” he said icily, not even bothering to make a full question.

Donnie gulped, frozen on the spot, too shocked to see such an unusual expression on his brother’s face. But before he could explain his presence, Karai’s clipped voice ordered.

“Nine white dahlias.”

Leo turned to prepare the flowers and then he saw it. The dahlia was the same white as Leo’s shirt, and dread filled him. Last time Karai had asked for black ones, and Leo had worn a black shirt. How many days had it been since she came?

“Maybe nine won’t be enough,” Karai continued cautiously. ”Maybe ten would be a more correct number.”

His eyes narrowed, Don mentally counted the flowers. Leo had put nine of them, not bothering to add the tenth. Anyway, nine or ten was an odd number, like eleven the last time. Marguerite sending message to her lover came to his mind, and boldly, He went to fetch his book from the little shelves in the tearoom corner.

He found the page quickly and, his heart missed a bit when he saw the date and Karai’s previous purchase. It was four days ago. Four black dahlia and four days without Karai visiting, to a Leo in a black shirt.

He closed the book, clutching it as though he was not sure if he wanted to throw it at the wall. Black dahlias meant days without Karai’s visit. So what did the white mean?

The time, his rational part whispered. Probably the hour they met.

But meeting for what? Don wondered, distressed. Maybe she was asking for help, he decided. Yes, it should be that. Leo missed their old ninja times, and needed some thrill in his life. Leonardo needed action and danger to spice-up his life. But, maybe Donnie’s love would compensate for it.

Or maybe, Donnie tried to convince himself, he had just read too many romance novels and his mind was making this all up.

When Karai left with her flowers, Leo turned to him, not angry anymore but embarrassed.

“You should knock before entering, Donnie. That’s what polite people do.”

“Why?” Don asked and he was surprised by the aggressiveness of his own question. ”I helped set up this place, and pay for most of it. It's past four, on a Sunday, and so, the shop is closed. Karai might have helped us, but I’m your brother, who helped you more than she ever did. She is a customer, like everybody else, and besides, I never asked to owe her anything, nor to be a slave in a chemical company and a freak to the world.”

Leo frowned and Don regretted his outburst. Leo hated being talked back to.

“How can you say that, Donnie? Yes, mutants are not considered equals in all of New York, but still, you got this promotion over all the other employees, and now have a more than average income! You don't have to scavenge in junkyard to buy you any of the stuff we need! Now, we get to walk under the sun, and have access to more services, like the hospital. It should have delivered you of a burden. Now, if we are sick, we are not your responsibility, like you were complaining about before, and we can buy our own things we need, without asking you to either make or fix it!”

“If I had complained to be your doctor, it was because you were all of you the worst patients ever!” Donnie replied, incensed because Leo was twisting the truth. “Raph never listened to advice and refuse to stay still. Mikey yelled each time he had a wound and you,” he concluded pointing accusingly to Leo, ”you wait to be in complete agony before telling me you are even ill! As for the stuff, the day Raph smashes the tv because his team has lost, good luck buying another one!” Don sneered, unable to help himself.

Leo rolled his eyes. “If Raph smashes the tv, he would pay for the tv. He is not as wealthy as you are, but he can face his responsibility.”

Leo took a step forward and his eyes locked on those of Donnie.

“You talked to me about missing something in your life,” Leo hissed. “You said your life was lacking of a meaning and I figured it out what you want!”

Leo was now in front of him, his chin raised to look at him and Don felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach. Leo had guessed Donatello wanted him as mate?

“You want us to be dependent on you, like before. You feel useless, because even if I do make less money, I can buy a toaster if I brake it, without even telling you. If I need to go somewhere on the other side of the city, I don't need any of your special vehicles! I can just take the subway! Thanks to Karai, we are free mutants!”

It was Leo turn to regret his words, because he took a desolate expression. Donnie could guess that his was very telling, about how much his soul had been crushed by what Leo had just said.

“I’m sorry, Donnie, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. You did a lot for us, before, and still, you do…”

Donnie raised a hand to make Leo stop his explanations.

“I wanted to know which sushi you wanted. I’ll leave you to order what you want and call yourself since your like your independence that much. I’m not hungry anymore, anyway,” he said before climbing the staircase with heavy steps, despite Leo calling his name.

In the dining room, he snatched down the curtain, in a harsh gesture.

“Already closing yer restaurant, Donnie?” Raph mocked, his mouth full of pretzel. ”I told ya Fearless would be out tonight”

Don did not even bother to answer, slamming his door, for the first time in his life.

Yes, Leonardo will probably going out, to be somewhere between 9:00 and 10:00 pm, but Don would be out as well.

\----

Shadowing Leo, the ultimate Ninja, was probably the most challenging thing Donatello had ever done. While he was playing dead in his room, not answering Leo’s pleas or the knocking at his door, he only waited for the time to pass.

At ten to nine, as he thought, Leo had left for patrol.

Without being see by his other siblings, who were too engrossed in some tv show, Donnie had taken the outside staircase, but not to climb down, and follow Leo by the street. Instead he headed up to the roof, like Leo had made them do drills.

He knew that something was wrong when he saw his brother raise his hand for a cab. Taxi ride were not difficult to get for mutant, a lot of driver being immigrants or mutants themselves, but getting a taxi was not a prelude to any patrol at all.

Running and jumping from roof to roof, Don realised he would have to take a taxi as well if he wanted to know where Leo was about to meet Karai, because Leo’s taxi was heading toward downtown Manhattan, where he wouldn’t be able to follow.

While Leo was stuck at a red light, Don jumped down from a three story building, to call a taxi as well.

“Follow that cab,” Don requested, and without any hesitation, he pulled out a $100 banknote. ”Keep them in sight, and you won’t have to give me any money back.”

Motivated, the driver did as he has been told, and so, dropped him at Central Park, like Leo was.

Don’s insides churned. It was bad. Central Park was probably not that recommendable at 9:30 pm, but for sure, Leo was not there to play ninja.

It was too romantic, the kind of place where Don himself had wanted to bring Leo, and so, filled with a feeling of dread, he followed his brother. Leonardo had something red in his hand, but Don could not make a positive guess about what it was. Leo sank into the shade of the trees, avoiding the trails lit by streetlights and after a long walk stopped at The Belvedere Castle and the Turtle Pond, a relaxing escape from the noisier sections of the Park.

Silently, he sneaked the best view he could of them, because of course, she was there, and Donatello was not at all surprised. But what Donnie felt when their eyes locked, and theirs hands and lips joined was more a shock.

“For you,” Leo said, handing to Karai one of the red camellias Don had offered him.

The flower meaning passion and desire.

Absolutely devastated, he watched all their intimate caress and listened to all their passionate confessions of love, too upset to even move, even less, stealthily.

And then Leo was gone with her, further into the park, probably to make love, hidden. But Don did not follow them, already too heartbroken. And by the time he found the use of his legs, it was dawn.


End file.
